The Best Songs of the 80s

The 1980s ranked by how few beers they need. Synth-pop, stadium rock, Prince and Michael Jackson, from the decade that made the music video as important as the song.

Top 25 of 41 songs with at least 10 ratings. Ranked by average beer score on a 0 to 11 scale.

1. 1
   

   Purple Rain

   Prince

   The last three minutes are the best guitar solo in pop. No debate.

   0.8beers35 ratings
2. 2
   

   Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

   Eurythmics

   Annie Lennox staring directly through you for four minutes.

   1.5beers94 ratings
3. 3
   

   Beat It

   Michael Jackson

   Eddie Van Halen did the solo for free. Best favour in music history.

   1.8beers43 ratings
4. 4
   

   About a Girl

   Nirvana

   Proof Cobain could write a pop song and rather resented it.

   1.9beers31 ratings
5. 5
   

   Like a Prayer

   Madonna

   A gospel choir, and the Vatican was furious. Perfect.

   2.4beers35 ratings
6. 6
   

   Blue Monday

   New Order

   Seven minutes that lost money on every copy sold. Worth it.

   2.4beers32 ratings
7. 7
   

   Love Will Tear Us Apart

   Joy Division

   The saddest song ever written for a dancefloor.

   2.6beers28 ratings
8. 8
   

   Hungry Like the Wolf

   Duran Duran

   The jungle video helped make MTV. The song earned the airtime.

   2.6beers36 ratings
9. 9
   

   Billie Jean

   Michael Jackson

   Attempting the moonwalk after this is a beer-count-dependent decision.

   2.6beers50 ratings
10. 10
    

    Just Can't Get Enough

    Depeche Mode

    Weirdly cheerful for Depeche Mode. Enjoy it while it lasts.

    2.7beers46 ratings
11. 11
    

    Careless Whisper

    George Michael

    That sax riff is the most beer-proof sound in pop.

    2.7beers55 ratings
12. 12
    

    Buffalo Soldier

    Bob Marley

    A history lesson, delivered so smoothly you don't notice.

    2.7beers30 ratings
13. 13
    

    Take On Me

    a-ha

    Best hit that falsetto after beer six. Not before.

    2.7beers47 ratings
14. 14
    

    Time After Time

    Cyndi Lauper

    The rare eighties ballad that hasn't aged a day.

    2.7beers35 ratings
15. 15
    

    Like a Virgin

    Madonna

    Tarantino wrote a whole scene about what it really means.

    2.8beers36 ratings
16. 16
    

    Tainted Love

    Soft Cell

    A Northern Soul cover that outgrew the original entirely.

    2.8beers46 ratings
17. 17
    

    I Want to Break Free

    Queen

    Freddie in a dress with a vacuum cleaner. Pure cinema.

    2.8beers51 ratings
18. 18
    

    On the Road Again

    Willie Nelson

    Two and a half minutes of pure contentment.

    2.9beers28 ratings
19. 19
    

    When Doves Cry

    Prince

    No bassline at all. Nobody noticed for years.

    2.9beers46 ratings
20. 20
    

    Sweet Child O' Mine

    Guns N' Roses

    The intro is worth six beers. The rest is a bonus.

    3.0beers44 ratings
21. 21
    

    Eye of the Tiger

    Survivor

    The only acceptable soundtrack to walking up a flight of stairs.

    3.1beers47 ratings
22. 22
    

    The Power of Love

    Huey Lewis & The News

    Time travel optional. Beers less so.

    3.2beers29 ratings
23. 23
    

    Girls Just Want to Have Fun

    Cyndi Lauper

    Still the correct thesis.

    3.3beers47 ratings
24. 24
    

    I Wanna Dance with Somebody

    Whitney Houston

    The most joyful four minutes in pop. Zero beers needed.

    3.3beers35 ratings
25. 25
    

    9 to 5

    Dolly Parton

    She played the typewriter rhythm with her fingernails. Genius.

    3.4beers14 ratings